Jayson Werth: Can't Take Off Because of Landing Strip?

Most people have never heard of Jayson Werth. To fill most of you in, he is a starting outfielder for the Philadelphia Phillies, and in 4 seasons with teams that have made the playoffs (including the past two World Series), he has put together a very nice post season resume. He is hitting near .300 with 35 hits, 11 of those being homers, and 17 RBIs. The reason why you have never heard of him might have something to do with the landing strip facial hair he sports.

A landing strip (on men) is a thin strip of facial hair that grows from chin to lip. It's not a part of a beard. It's just out there on its own, much bigger than a soul patch, distracting the eye of those who would dare look upon it. Men wearing this style cannot be taken seriously. I mean, hasn’t Werth seen Brandon Inge from the Tigers? Have you?

Well, maybe not. Inge suffers from the same affliction that Werth does. He doesn't get nearly the recognition he should because he wears that ridiculous man patch (and his is thin too. It looks suggestive, and that is not the message a professional hitter should be sending).

Werth or Inge would be better off with a facial tattoo or piercing the bridge of their nose. At least that would be original (for baseball, the NBA went there years ago). I'm sure there were others before, but I didn't notice them as most of you haven't noticed Jayson Werth. I guess on the positive side he can have a promising career as a strip club DJ when his baseball career ends.

If Werth were to shave the squirrel tail, I predict he will double in popularity next year when he plays in the World Series, again; against the Yankees, again.

I wasn't excited about Ryan Howard's goatee this year, either. It didn't seem to suit him. A goatee on a baby face is almost as bad as the landing strip. Well, not really. But still, not good. Next year both guys should come back clean shaven, and they might make it to game 7 against the Yankees. I'd get rid of Cole Hamels either way.